


Apathy

by Syerenne



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Apathy, F/F, I used starset songs as inspiration, Lots of Angst, inspired by the apathy episode, starset
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-16 01:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17540444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syerenne/pseuds/Syerenne
Summary: Yang looks reflects back on losing Blake after the Fall of Beacon, expressing her feelings about being abandoned by a person she cares for so deeply, and her sudden return. However, upon the arrival to Brunswick Farms, everything goes downhill.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my first fanfiction in years. I hope you will like it.  
> Warning: This chapter is very angsty, especially at the end.

The worst thing you could ever feel is apathy.

I mean…I know you were lost when you ran away, but you left me with such a bittersweet taste…

I don’t like admitting to it, but I did try to hate you. I was dying to forget. But the more I tried, the more I realized how strongly I felt about you. It took such a long time to understand how I felt, and when I did it only caused me more pain.

Because you weren’t around… because you weren’t where I needed you – with me.

Apathy is the absolute opposite of love. I know it is too late, but I finally understand this, because you managed to take off the bulletproof jacket that was protecting my heart, making me bare against all the emotions. I couldn’t care less about losing my godforsaken arm. However, losing you hurt me so deeply and so strongly I wasn’t even able to get out of the bed for days. My chest felt hollow and it probably even was, since you stole my heart and took it with you who-knows-where.  
But then you suddenly came back. Seeing you for the first time in what felt like years should have made me feel better, but the cruel hole in my chest felt like it was about to burst even more open, as if the crimson blade that took my arm was now trying to take the rest of me as well.

Despite of the pain, I decided to give it my all and not let my feelings take over the rational part of my brain. However, I don’t think I was ready to forgive you yet, and that made every single moment spent in your presence feel as if my skin was about to burn of. You took on the habit of being close to me whenever you had the chance. You even attempted to help me with everything at first. It was both very sweet and very painful at the same time. Seeing your beautiful raven hair and those oh-so-adorable and emotive cat ears of yours was causing such an emotional turmoil in me. Sometimes I thought I was having some cruel hallucinations. Then I accepted the fact that you really were here, which only made me hyper aware of every single step you made, every slight movement of your body, and every heartwarming smile you ever gave me. It seemed as if those smiles were only reserved for me, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

With all of these stupid emotions in my head, we set up on the road to nowhere, with no solutions to any of the world’s problems, and only more disappointment. The only things we learned made all of us spiral into an even deeper state of melancholy.

We cheered up a little bit when we suddenly heard the relaxing and lively wind chimes. The snowy village, being on the road for the whole day, lack of comfortable sleep and constant fights on the road made us extremely tired. Or was it the dead bodies, lack of food or water, and the fact that everyone was basically unable to move from exhaustion?

Thinking back to it, these all made me worried for the impending doom. If only I knew back than how horrible it was going to be.

I admit, I was terrified when you said that there was no way of knowing where Adam is. But why did you have to say that you wanted to protect me? My whole life I was the one protecting others, until you came around. I was willing to let lose around you, be more carefree. I didn’t even worry about my sister as much, because we now had amazing and thoughtful friends, so I could rest without thinking about what mess she might’ve gotten herself into again. I had you and the others to protect each other. But then I found out… your way of protection is wrong! I did realize the only reason you ran away was to protect me. It doesn’t mean I understand the reason, only that I accept it. Because you cannot abandon people to protect them! How did you think that would make me feel better? It only hurt me more. It hurt so deeply…  
You just made my mind such a huge fucking mess…

We were all extremely tired, some more than the others. It got even worse in the morning. Ruby woke up with a scream from all the nightmares that are hunting her. The wheel broke, we didn’t even feel like eating. Suddenly, we all started expressing our doubts about the mission, fearing the inevitable end of the world. The void was calling us all and it finally got Ruby as well, making the lantern fall into that godforsaken well. Unwillingly, we followed her in, not really caring about finding the shitty trinket.

However, when she screamed we came back to. Terrified we ran after her and when we got past the corner we saw them. Large, with skeleton-like bodies the Grimm slowly moved towards us. We started running away but those monsters were stronger. Each of their screams brought us down to our knees. We pushed forward. We were almost out of that cold dark place. The monsters always win though. I saw you falling to the ground, those thin arms reaching for you. My idiotic body refused to move. It felt like I was frozen in time. Horrified, I watched them reaching for you, the darkness calling you.

“It’s fine…” you said in a tiny whisper.

Ruby was the only one who was able to move. But it was too late. The void called for you and I could feel your soul fade as the darkness took you away from me once again.

You were gone.

I was alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A terrible nightmare has struck Yang. Now she has to face its consequences.

A loud scream suddenly sounded through the house. A scream that could only be identified as Yang’s.

She shot up from a nightmare as horrible as never before, her eyes pouring with tears that she did not even notice. Her whole body was shaking with terror so deep even the Grimm wouldn’t stand a chance in comparison. It felt like the apathy itself was in the room, lurking.

Attempting to calm down, she hugged her knees to her chest and sobbed, the thin line between dream and reality still not wanting to snap.

_This cannot be real, this cannot be real, I can’t handle being alone again, please, Gods, do not do this to me,_ her mind was racing mercilessly. _Please, give her back to me…_

Suddenly, her dangerous train of thoughts was stopped by a gentle touch on her back. She almost did not feel the hand touching her, that’s how gentle it was. But… it was there. She tensed up for a few seconds and then, breathing in the heaviest of breaths, hugging her knees closer, she refused to let herself get misled by her imagination into believing the good things again.

“Yang, are you okay?” the gentle, sleepy voice next to her sounded. Yang’s eyes widened.

“Hey, it’s fine, it was just a dream,” the voice reassured her, rubbing soft circles into her back. “You’re awake now, you are okay, nothing can hurt you here.”

_Wait…_ Yang finally forced her head up, looking around the unfamiliar room. She was sitting on a soft bed with crème coloured marble pillars in each corner. The room had red walls, yellow-orange curtains that covered huge windows, behind which the dark and cold night was being lightened by a snow softly falling from the sky. The sounds of a train passing by could be heard.

“Where…” Yang’s voice gave out, her voice hoarse from the screams caused by the horrifying nightmare. Coughing, she cleaned her throat and tried speaking again.

“Where am I? What is this place?” She whispered, more to herself than to the strange hand on her back. “Where is…”

“I’m right here, Yang. We are in the Arc house. You know, Jaune, who you also call vomit boy? We are in his sister’s and her wife’s house in Argus,” the voice explained, almost making her feel better by using that old stupid nickname, but the fog still refused to lift.

A small ounce of recognition and memory started seeping into Yang’s brain. Right, Argus… the Cotta-Arc household… oh, yeah, Jaune’s sister and his adorable nephew, we did visit the place.

“I do not remember going to sleep…” she mumbled, working her brain hard.

“You were pretty exhausted from riding your bike all the way from Brunswick Farms with us in the tow, it makes sense that you do not remember,” the soft female voice sounded again, gently moving its hand to her own, the thumb rubbing circles into the back of her left hand.

_Brunswick Farms_ … that name alone made her brain jump back into all the depressive thoughts, back into the spiral of lethargy.

“Oh shit,” she mumbled in terror, “Blake… she… The Apathy… I couldn’t…” Yang stammered unable to finish a single sentence through her throat contracted with nerves. “How could we…”

The grip on her hand strengthened and she felt another hand stroking sweaty hair out of her face and then resting gently on her cheek.

“Yang, I’m fine, it’s me,” the voice was as quiet as a whisper, but firm and reassuring. “It’s Blake, I’m right here with you, I didn’t go anywhere.”

Yang’s eyes immediately looked up, meeting with golden pools, which reminded her of honey in the darkness of the night. As if to make sure, she lifted her right hand, gently touching the one on her cheek. Her heavy breaths caught in her throat.

“Blake?” she asked, trying to hold on to this reality for as long as possible.

“I’m here, don’t worry. You… You just had a bad dream. But you’re awake now, it’s over,” her partner was trying to reassure her with all the energy she could’ve possibly had after being rudely woken up by her horrifying screams.

“Oh…” was all Yang could muster, dropping her hands into her lap quickly, because for some reason, Blake’s touch was making her heart race even more.

Blake wasn’t expecting this action, but wasn’t shocked either, since the barn talk was still hanging around in her mind as an annoying mosquito, not wanting to fly out, just painfully stinging here and there. She scooted a bit further from Yang and stayed silent, watching her come back to the real world.

“Blake… why are you here?” she asked dryly.

“Oh…umm… Sadly, they didn’t have enough guestrooms for us all, so Ruby and Weiss took one room and we took the other. There was only one bed, so I let you take the it, while I took the floor. And then I heard you having a nightmare, and since it sounded quite terrifying I had to wake you up,” she explained, avoiding Yang’s eyes by staring at the wall behind her.

“I see,” exhaled Yang, laying back down onto her side, and propping her head up on her right hand, watching as Blake stayed in the same position, with her back now turned to her, “You know, I could’ve taken the floor, I’d be fine anyway. It’s not like it would be the first time ever. And besides, I was apparently so tired, I would have passed out into the dreamland even if you put me on sharp rocks.”

Blake’s ear twitched as she turned her head to look at Yang, who was trying to look smug through her exhaustion and the passing nightmare. “Yeah, no,” she said, with a firm look in her eyes, which Yang had to admit was kind of terrifying.

“I’d had my great deal of floors and rocks to sleep on, I can handle it. Just keep the bed, you need it more than I do,” and then she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, standing up and walking back towards her makeshift spot on the floor. Yang followed her movements, focusing on the way her hips swayed with the movement, suddenly becoming aware of all the feelings that surfaced in her mind during the nightmare. As her cheeks started feeling extremely warm a sudden solution to the previously discussed problem was born in her head.

“This is silly, Blake. The bed is big enough for both of us. Why should either one of us sleep on the floor?” she said, her voice less confident than she hoped for.

Blake turned around, scanning Yang’s face curiously, searching for anything that would suggest she was just joking. However, all she could find in the tired purple eyes was honesty.

“Surely?” she asked.

“Yes, at least you can wake me up from my nightmares instantly,” Yang winked at her, a smile appearing on her lips as she added, “And my name is not Shirley!”

Blake rolled her eyes, scoffing with a slight smirk. “Fine!” she said and made her way back to the warm bed.


End file.
